Horror Show

When we first moved to Woonsocket 24 years ago nobody would make the trip up to see us. You're not exactly convenient anymore they'd snarl when we invited them. It hadn't occurred to us yet that it was time to make new friends. So we decided to call everyone we knew and offer to bring our home cooked dinners to them. One night I made a lasagna and after calling half a dozen people we got a "yes" So excitedly we packed up an indoor picnic and drove to the house of newlywed friends half hour away, in Greenville. I unwrapped the warm lasagna and we sat at their new dining room table in their new marriage. The conversation was strange. The hostess loved talking about how her jaw had been deliberately broken to fit her teeth and then wired shut to heal. During this time she drank a liquid diet of malteds for months dropping to the size of a skeleton. She wished to remain this way. Her husband begged her to see that she was perfect as is having recovered from the ordeal. Then, she lit up a long skinny ladies cigarette blowing smoke towards us. Then she put out her cigarette on the large portion of uneaten lasagna left on her plate. I was horrified.