Garlic

I eat illegal amounts of garlic! Especially now that I have found a stash; five heads for a dollar at the Asian market. They are from China. I slam them with the side of my cleaver and peel them like squished cockroaches. When I hear the bang at my door I'll know it's the garlic police in hazmat suits with cloves on their lapels. Garlic Devo! I was just telling Schnig and Jenny's daughters escape stories about my Uncle Peter who is not my blood-related uncle but my step father's best friend; a NYC bachelor and fashion photographer who was a Jew raised in Holland. He escaped the Nazis six times! He was hiding in ceilings and floors! But back to garlic. Perhaps it does keep the vampires and the Nazis away.